Category Archives: Family

ODD No More?

Time for another update on our progress with neurological reorganization therapy. We are now 16 days in, and I am amazed at how smoothly it’s going. Because of the amount of time it takes to do everything in our program, and the physically demanding nature of some of the activities, I had braced myself for lots of battles and coaxing. I thought I’d have had to come up with a ton of creative games and/or rewards by now, but not so.

Maybe it’s the age of my kids in the program (12, 10, 7) that makes them more compliant, but I don’t think so. I especially expected a lot of resistance from my daughter and younger son. Why? Because for the past several years the two of them have adamantly resisted pretty much everything I’ve ever tried to do or say. I would not have been surprised if a doctor had diagnosed them with ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder), if I had inquired.

But now, not only are they cooperating with what we need to do for this program, but they are actually a lot more cooperative in general! My absolute favorite thing to hear right now is my 7-year-old son simply say, “Okay” in response to my making a request or suggestion. THAT NEVER USED TO HAPPEN…EVER! It’s pure music to my ears. The thought that I really may not have to spend the vast majority of my time left on this earth arguing with him and dealing with his emotional outbursts, or refereeing between all four of my children, is truly a wonderful revelation.

This program may actually work! In fact it IS working already. So exciting. Stay tuned.

 

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Healing Our Brains, Day 8

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, we just started on a neurological reorganization (NR) program with three of our four children. Their ages are 12, 10, and 7, and they all have multiple ADHD-type symptoms and two of them seem to have ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). I haven’t had them formally diagnosed because I’m not interested in medication, but I read a ton and think I have a pretty good idea of what their issues are. Also, we homeschool, so I am with them all the time.

Eight days into our program and here are my observations:

  1. NR is a big change in lifestyle, and therefore stressful and time-consuming to implement at first.
  2. As difficult as my children typically are, they have not offered much resistance so far to doing the program–I think this is because I have made it our #1 priority and don’t really care what else we get done outside of it at this point.
  3. The patterns (ours are similar to swim strokes and dancer poses on the floor) are the hardest thing for us, but we’ve already made huge progress in how well the kids are doing them. They have a definite improved sense of where their bodies are and can move more symmetrically (if that makes sense).
  4. My older two, especially my daughter, who have been less affectionate and cuddly for the past couple years, are really enjoying the body presses and bear hugs we do as part of the program. I also enjoy these and feel more relaxed after we do them. Also, interspersing them in between the more difficult/tiresome parts of the program helps to diffuse tension and stress.
  5. It really has helped to begin slowly with the program and build up to the number of reps and activities assigned. This is definitely a marathon and not a sprint.

Neurological Reorganization, Week 1

I wanted to share an update on our progress with our neurological reorganization (NR) program. We did our evaluation on 9/28, but we are only three days “officially” into implementing it, and let me say it’s not for the faint of heart! It is much more nurturing than I expected, which is great, but it is still a lot of work. Before we began, I had to buy quite a few supplies in order to make the program work for us. Our condo is small and carpeted, so I had to get a roll of vinyl for the floor for crawling, plus knee pads, a massager, brushes, and an exercise ball. I would not have gone to the expense if I didn’t expect life-changing results, but I know the progress will be slow and I’ll need to be diligent and patient (why does everything good require diligence and patience?!). I’m focusing mainly on my daughter at first, because her behavior issues (too many to name right now) are the most concerning, but I am having two of my three sons do the program with her because it will also benefit them. They all have multiple ADHD-type symptoms but have not been formally diagnosed.

So far the patterns (sequential movements that trigger certain reflexes) are the most challenging and time consuming. I think that once we get those down, the other stuff won’t be as big a deal. I hope. There is also a good deal of crawling required, and that may be difficult to fit into our schedule. But, since we home school, we are able to allocate a good chunk of time to this stuff and we’re making it a priority. I’ll let you know how things are going throughout the process. Hopefully it will help some of you!

Seizures and Sugar: A Simple Lifestyle Change That is Working for Us

Hello friends! I wanted to take a moment to share a simple change we’ve made recently to improve our health, particularly for my daughter, age 10. She has been struggling with occasional petit mal seizures over the past 2 years. They only last 30 seconds to a minute, and she is fine right afterward — thankfully they have not caused any brain damage. I have not wanted to use any medication for her, because according to my research, the cons far outweigh the pros in her case. Instead, I have taken careful notes every time she has had a seizure (typically once every 2-3 weeks, with occasional clusters in the same week), recording when they happened and what she was doing/eating/drinking immediately prior as well as the day/night before. I noticed that every time she had a seizure, she either had very little sleep or had eaten more sugar than usual or a food/drink with artificial dyes or flavors. So naturally, I tried to help her avoid these foods and excessive sugar, which was/is not easy, since she has a serious sweet tooth.

The latest change, which we made two months ago, seems to have been the most successful. She has not had a seizure since we started, and it’s been a relatively easy change: We stopped eating cereal for breakfast. I had been buying various, supposedly healthy, usually organic cereals with “less sugar” thinking they were fine for us — things like peanut butter puffs, cocoa crisps, and granola, often to mix with multi-grain squares or plain O’s. Since I was kind of at my wit’s end, I decided to try replacing all of that with only plain oats or toast (we only buy bread with 3-4 ingredients, no preservatives). The kids can add a little honey or organic raisins or bananas to sweeten the oatmeal, but that’s it. Everyone seems pretty content with this change, and we’re saving money as well.

I realize this is a very specific issue and it may not apply to many of my readers, but I wanted to share in case any of you are having similar struggles, and also to encourage anyone searching for natural, holistic solutions for yourself to continue experimenting. Try one small change at a time and pay attention to the results. Take charge of your health and don’t accept someone else’s prescription (medical or otherwise) if you’re not comfortable with it. I’m not anti-medication in every case, but I do believe we are generally over-medicated as a society, and we need to be extra cautious especially when it comes to our children. I’ll continue to share our progress on this as well as other positive lifestyle changes we make. (While I’m on that topic, if anyone has a fool-proof method for making yourself drink 60+ oz. of water every day, please share in the comments!)

 

 

Neurological Reorganization… Life Changing!

59684_1524221838850_7579784_nI have a feeling I’m going to be blogging on this topic A LOT this year. I am totally fascinated by this field and am about to begin a program with my daughter and possibly my two older sons as well. In a nutshell, neurological reorganization is a way of treating a whole host of learning and behavior disorders without medication and with permanent beneficial results. The goal is to identify gaps in development that occurred from birth onward and take advantage of our brain’s neuroplasticity and go back and bridge or eliminate those gaps. At least that’s my understanding so far. I can honestly see  this being the single most important discovery of my life as a mom to date. If you have an hour and fifteen minutes to spare, and even a mild curiosity in what I am talking about, I highly recommend you watch the video below.

 

Back to Education

It’s “Back to School” time for many students around the world, and even in our homeschool we use this time of year to make a fresh start. I’m always excited to start a new “school year” because I love to learn and I love the opportunity to change things up and hopefully inspire my 4 students to become avid readers and lifelong learners. I am currently enthralled with a new book called A Thomas Jefferson Education and all that it means for our homeschool journey.

As the book explains, there are often major differences between modern schooling and classical education–the latter being accomplished through mentors and study of the classics. It asserts that the only true education is self-education and that it comes about when great mentors inspire their students by their example. I am all over that! My favorite thing about homeschooling, which absolutely has its challenges, is how much I get to learn myself, and that my kids automatically absorb so much just by being around me as I struggle and persevere along my own path.

I am far from a perfect parent. The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know. And I can honestly say that I have had a pretty great Catholic school and liberal arts education with some amazing mentors all along the way–I shudder to think what would have been if I had not! I feel I have much to live up to. And I believe that’s what makes me the ideal mentor for my kids. I have to pass on the lessons I have learned and the character I have developed–and I need a lot of time and opportunity to do that. True education can never be forced or rushed. It must be willingly received… patiently and passionately pursued. So that is what I will do, and I’ll trust that my children will follow my example, and eventually surpass it.

Thoughts going into year 6 of home schooling…

We’re about to officially begin our sixth year of home schooling next week, the day after Labor Day. All four of my kids and I will be part of a new co-op that meets once a week. Our home school style has gone from strictly classical to much more eclectic over the years, and this new co-op encourages self-directed learning and unschooling. Kids and parents are invited to submit proposals for classes, group studies, and independent studies with mentors. I joined the programming committee so I get to help decide which classes/studies are held when, for how long, and with what facilitators or teachers. There have been so many creative and interesting proposals submitted already–everything from building Leprechaun traps to Entomology to Coding to Philosophy to Claymation. I’m completely confident that we will enjoy many rich learning experiences together as we connect with this new community.

That’s a nice segue into my latest meditations on why I am home schooling and what my priorities are: the #1 answer to both is community, which is just another name for extended family. I’m reading a great book called A Thomas Jefferson Education and it brings up some excellent points about socialization that remind me why I started on this whole journey in the first place. Unlike most people, who worry about socialization when they think of home schooling (which is worth noting and pondering – why do they immediately think of socializing and never worry about academics when it comes to schooling?), I was actually very impressed with the social skills and overall character and poise of the home schooled children I had known prior to making the decision to home school. I noticed that these children seemed much more articulate and comfortable communicating and interacting with all ages than their peers in public and private schools. They had a strong sense of self, close relationships with their family members, and were less vulnerable to peer pressure.

When I then had my own children and it was time to send my first born off to Kindergarten, I did so with some serious reservations, even though we were in a “very good” school district. It was a full day program, and I worried it would be too big of an adjustment for him. Still, I was hopeful that all would go well and my child would thrive, and he did, mostly. He had a truly wonderful, loving, and capable teacher who gave him an excellent start, socially and academically. He did have a lot of energy to burn once the school day was over, and the homework assignments seemed pretty robust for such a young child, but we managed, and all was well.

Then came first grade, and things began to decline gradually throughout the year. My happy, extremely confident and creative boy began to doubt himself, just a little. He started to think school was “boring” and he just HAD to have the latest, coolest toys that his classmates loved to play with (even though, he admitted, he didn’t think they were really that cool). He would come home from a full day with sometimes 15 minutes of recess or less, and turn into Taz from Looney Tunes, bouncing off the walls and spitting gibberish. His teacher said he took too long on classroom assignments. That was her only feedback about him when we met for parent-teacher conferences. She didn’t love him — he was just another kid in her class. And that was all it took for me to be convinced: I needed to at least try to home school. I didn’t want my child to learn how to sit in a classroom all day and hurry to finish his assignments “on time” regardless of whether he had learned anything. I didn’t want him to learn how to fit in with “the cool kids”, who were all his age and lived in the same small town. I didn’t see what any of this had to do with a good education — and even though I loved my traditional Catholic school education growing up — I was over it in a heartbeat.

I hope that none of this comes across as judgmental or condemning. I know that there are some really great schools out there, and I would never presume to tell another parent what educational choices they should make for their child/ren. I am simply sharing my experiences and my reasons for home schooling my own kids, for consideration by myself and anyone else interested.

I am doing my best to ensure that my kids know how to interact and engage with people of all ages and backgrounds.

I am trying to teach them the discipline of working out their differences with each other productively (all strong personalities together all day long often equals fireworks) and then how to apply those same principles and techniques to be able to get along with other challenging personalities and situations they come across.

I want them to know themselves — what they genuinely love to do and learn about — and be confident enough to lead by example in the communities and interest areas that are important to them.

I want them to be free to explore and open to learn, but not waste time trying to bend and twist into anything that doesn’t resonate for them.

I want them to be fully connected, which for me right now means that I need to be fully connected to myself and my own progress, as well as to how each of them are growing and developing, so that I can lead the way.

I’m sure there will come a day when I entrust that responsibility to someone else or to my kids themselves, but for now it needs to be me. I admit, I’m a little weary and a little leery at this point. But mostly I’m excited. We are finding our groove. We are doing the heavy lifting, and it’s starting to get lighter. We are forging our path, and some will follow. Others will be inspired to forge their own. Still others will think we’re wacko, and that’s okay. As I frequently tell my kids, “Do what you think is right, and do the best you can, and don’t worry about what anyone else is doing.”

 

 

 

 

Love & Pride Don’t Mix

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. – 1 Cor. 13: 4-10

 

When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom. – Prov. 11:2

By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom. – Prov. 13:10

Slowing Down to Speed Up

“I don’t want my children’s education to be so fast-paced and so abstract that there is not time to meditate on the fantastical. I do not want them to treat glorious facts as mundane.”
–Leigh Bortins, The Question

I was just meditating today on the concept of slowing down to speed up, and then I got this quote in a Classical Conversations e-mail, validating my thoughts. The slowing down/speeding up concept is that if you stop and think about what is really important to you and just focus on that one thing… or maybe one or two simple goals related to that thing, you’ll soon end up leaps and bounds ahead of where you’d be if you had a checklist of 10-50 things you’re trying to accomplish all at once. It’s so easy to get distracted and over-schedule these days, yet this “busy-ness” is getting us nowhere.

To share a personal example, last year all I really wanted to focus on was home schooling my children well. I just wanted to be a good mom, and a good teacher, and in a good mood, more often than not. Pretty simple conceptually, although all moms know that this is far easier said than done for nearly all of us. As I focused on just this one main goal–whereas I normally have a minimum of 6-7 challenging goals going simultaneously–I started to feel so light and unencumbered. I actually had time to think, and read for pleasure (!), and just sit and enjoy my kids. I was so unaccustomed to these luxuries that I kept feeling guilty or lost at first. I had a sneaking suspicion that I was forgetting something and that my bubble would be burst at any moment. But instead, what happened was that eventually other goals that I had not previously been able to accomplish when I tackled them more directly and distractedly, began to come to fruition as well. Consequently, not only are my kids and I now enjoying home schooling immensely, I am also in my best physical shape in more than a decade, and I have my own business that is actually bringing in money! And those are just two of the bonus goals–there are several other “lesser” goals that would never even have made my top ten list in the past that I am also making progress on.  WOO. HOO.

Slowing down is such an important thing to do. As much as we like to identify ourselves by our occupations or bodies or reputations, we are in fact vibrant, creative spirits that long for beauty and truth and love. In a world that constantly tries to suck the meaning out of everything, we are yearning to make our lives meaningful. For most of us, I’m willing to bet that our dreams are pretty much just sitting there beside us, waiting for us to turn and pick them up, but we’re just flying by, too oblivious to notice. If you think things are moving too fast, or you’re frustrated that you haven’t been able to accomplish things despite putting them on your “list” for years, try slowing down for awhile. Breathe, and assess your values and priorities. And then if you’re really feeling courageous, try organizing your life to actually support those top priorities, at the expense of lesser ones if necessary. I can almost guarantee it won’t be easy, but it will definitely be worth it.